The secret
by Isadtd
Summary: Something changed between Eye of the beholder and Demons. Here's my theory of what happened during and after Remy's. Updated after each episode until I won't be able to spin canon to fit this.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note : So watching Demons, I found some stuff odd between Castle and Beckett :

He grabbed her.. butt, I guess. Something that wasn't her legs anyway

And when she gasped "Cas" (the "tle" wasn't there or very low), she didn't seem that annoyed.

The comment about about the massage. She didn't seem phased by that either. The awkwardness of the end of Heroes and Villains was gone.

So, here's my theory. Maybe as crazy as Castle's CIA one. And I'm posting it before Cops and robbers airs because it might be AU by then. Tell me what you think. It takes place between Eyes if the beholder and Demons.

* * *

><p>"Plus, I only broke one panel. Why are they making me pay for the whole thing?" Castle continued to rant, in between bites of his burger.<p>

"Can't your insurance pay for it?" She asked, sipping her milkshake.

"Why can't **their** insurance pay?" His outcry provoked a shift in Beckett's posture. He saw her tense up and immediately regretted bringing the museum assurance up.

"You should asked Serena..." She said, pushing her drink away and sitting back.

He put his burger down, swallowing the large bite in his mouth slowly to give him time.

The atmosphere had changed and Beckett berated herself for causing it.

"I'm sure she's not interested anymore."

"Why?"

"Oh... Just something she said."

"What did she say?"

She was really curious about why they didn't go out. He hesitated, wondering how much to tell her. She had already asked him that same question earlier. He had deflected with a joke. This time, she was pushing for an honest, serious answer, he reckoned.

"She told me she doesn't steal things that belong to someone else," he deadpanned, staring at her.

She hold his gaze for longer than he expected. Eventually, she looked down and started to play with her glass.

"Sorry," she whispered.

He touched her hand to make her look up.

"Not your fault." His lips quirked up sightly. "Well, maybe just a little, but..."

Beckett was fighting to control her breathing. She knew she was the one who started this all thing with her jealousy. And she didn't know how to stop it.

"She isn't my type anyway."

Banter, she could do banter. She plastered her teasing smile on her face.

"Like you have just one type, Castle?"

But he remained serious.

"I do. Tall, brunette, strong, hot..." He gave a short saucy smile at that one before going on. "A mystery I am never gonna solve. In one word : extraordinary." She shivered because of the words or because of the low, deep tone. Most likely because of both. She didn't dare to look at him, focusing on his forgotten burger instead. "You know." He added, like an after thought. But the tone was different. It wasn't a question but a statement. Her eyes met his. They were wide with realization. "You know," he repeated.

There was no denying it. It would only make it worse. This morning, in her therapist's office, she hadn't been able to say it. Say that he wasn't supposed to be "smitten" with this other woman when he was supposed to love her. How could she asked of him to act accordingly when she didn't even acknowledge it ?

"Yes. I remember."

He nodded gravely, silent for longer that she liked. He was giving this revelation a lot of thoughts. He tried to see this as a writer and understand the consequences. Finally, he sighed, closing his eyes. "It doesn't change anything." He opened his eyes and started on his burger again. She didn't know what to say so she went back to her own meal. And they finished their meal in companionable silence.

After they finished he went for his wallet but she stopped him.

"Hey, my treat ! You can't afford it, remember," she joked.

"Remember when we were pretending everything was fine. Yeah, I remember it well," he thought but pocketed his money instead. "Thanks, I'll pay you back when Alexis will be able to give me allowance."

She gave him a bright smile, happy that the banter was back. But as they walked out, he was somber again. She headed to her car but stopped when she saw he hadn't followed, hailing a cab instead.

"You don't want a ride?"

"No it's okay, It's out of your way. Goodnight." He said as he opened the door.

"Castle?"

"Yeah?"

She took her time, wanting to say something but not sure how.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Of course!" He gave her a quizzical look, like he knew that it wasn't what she wanted to say.

"Goodnight."

She stood on the side walk, watching the taxi disappear into the traffic.

* * *

><p>The buzz of his phone stirred Castle from sleep. He looked at the clock before grasping the offending object. It was a text, from Beckett, at 5 AM.<p>

"You're wrong," it read. He shook his head violently, trying to wake up, because half asleep, this text didn't make any sense. He reread it after a minute. Still not making sense.

He typed a quick response. "About what?"

The answer was quick. "When you say it doesn't change anything." His heart sank. Why was she doing this to him? For once, he would have been quite happy about ignoring the whole thing. The next text puzzled him even more : "Come in early! See you in half an hour."

He gave up trying to understand and got up. If he wanted to be there on time, he needed to get in the shower. But did he really want to be on time ? And for what? Having his heart ripped apart?

Forty minutes later, he arrived at the precinct. It was still dark but Beckett was waiting outside for him with two cups of coffee. When she saw him she smiled brightly and handed him a cup.

"Good morning. I thought that with the short timing, you wouldn't have time to stop for coffee."

He eyed her suspiciously. She was way too bubbly for 5:45 AM. She was too bubbly for Beckett.

"Thanks," he said as they walked in. If he was surprised by her request and demeanor, it was nothing compared to his shock when they got in the elevator. As soon as the door closed, she stepped in front of him, really, really close.

"I hated the way Serena looked at you. I hated more the way you looked at her. I was jealous and she's right, I do think you're mine." Then she leaned towards him. He thought he might have an heart attack. Careful not to spill her coffee, her arms went around his neck. Her lips hovered above his for a second. She looked in his eyes, at his lips, then in his eyes again before kissing him. He closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her mouth on his. When he opened them again, she was gone. The elevator's doors were open and he was alone. Her head reappeared suddenly, startling him.

"Castle! You're coming?"

He hurried behind her. She was going straight for the empty break room.

"What was that?", he whispered once she had closed the door.

"That was me changing my mind about... this... us." She said gesturing between them with one hand.

Castle looked around wildly. "Am I being punk'd?"

She swatted his arm for this.

"Ouch."

"You're not being punk'd!" He still didn't believe her, she could see it on his face. He was not a morning person, maybe she should have waited. But she barely slept all night. Her ride home had been enough to take a decision, this decision. Even if she thought she needed to solve her mother's case first, she wasn't ready to watch him with other women. So she just had to make it work. To convince him it wasn't some cruel joke, she put away both their cups and kissed him again. This time she lingered a little longer. The bullpen was deserted at this hour, no risk to get caught. He encircled her in his arms. She allowed him to deepen the kiss, his tongue passing past her lips to meet hers. When his hands traveled down to cup her ass, though, she pulled away. Resting her forehead against his, she took the time to catch her breath. Eventually she stepped away from his embrace.

"We need some ground rules," she started. "First. No kissing at work. That includes the precinct, crime scenes, and everywhere we go for a case, alone or not..." He opened his mouth to object but she anticipated and cut him off. "First and only time! Well technically, it's two times, but you were being dense. Anyway, last time. Second. Let's keep it quiet for now. This is difficult enough without everyone teasing me about it. Plus I don't know how Gates would react.. Third. Dates are okay. Only if it's not too obvious. No overpriced restaurants for example." Beckett was pacing in front of him, only looking at him from time to time to make sure he was listening. Castle just stood there, staring. "That's all. For now." She turned to him expectantly. "So what do you think. Do you agree?"

He smiled at her then. A soft, gentle, happy smile. Walking up to her, he moved quickly to kiss her.

"I agree," he said once he had pulled away.

"You broke rule number one," she whispered.

"I'm sorry. Won't happen again. I promised we will take this slow, but you need to relax. This..." he made the same gesture with his hand between them. "is going to be just fine." She nodded wordlessly, not breaking eye contact. The moment was interrupted when one of the uniforms came in for coffee. Beckett took hers and walked out. Castle followed grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

"Number four. Wipe that silly smile off your face."

"Yes, dear..." He said, adding immediately : "Let me guess number five."


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the reviews !  
>This was supposed to be a one shot. But I figured : until I can't spin the canon to fit the story anymore, I'll continue it. So this chapter takes place at the end of Demons. Not directly after, but just before the last scene, you'll see why. Then I jumped to Cops&amp;Robbers, once again just before the last scene.<p>

**Edited because lv2bnsb1 pointing something about the kiss in the lobby. Thanks for that. Hope it makes more sense now.**

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><p>The elevator doors closed and Beckett turned to Castle immediately.<p>

"So, I guess it's too late for the Angelica."

Castle was still enthralled by the event he just witnessed. He recovered when she repeated herself, amused more than annoyed.

"Rain check on movie night?" Castle asked, his eyes full of hope.

"Of course."

"What about desserts ? Just an hour or so."

She considered his offer for a while. "Yeah. I'd like that."

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><p>They didn't go to Remy's. Beckett wanted ice cream and they ended up in a little place near the precinct. They were sitting across from each other, eating decadent amount of ice cream. They talked and they laughed. She was letting him touch her hand, not hold it. But he would get there, he was sure. He was also playing footsie under the table until she playfully kicked him in the chin.<p>

"Behave, Castle!" She excused herself to go the bathroom.

Dates in public places weren't as fun as the ones at her place, he thought. Less kissing, more glaring. Since last week, they had spent almost every evening together, either in her apartment or in various restaurants. The status of their relationship was still secret, even to his family. He hadn't spent the night at her place yet and he just told them he was with Beckett. Alexis and Martha assumed he meant at the precinct. She flatly refused every invitation to his loft.

He made the most of her absence by stealing some of her ice cream, until a woman appeared by the table. She giggled in front of him.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you. You're Richard Castle, aren't you? I'm such a fan. Would you sign my book? Please?" She put a worn-out paperback of Deadly Storm in front of him. He smiled at her.

"Sure." He took a pen from his pocket. "And your name is?"

"Laurie." He signed the first page expertly, years of practice made the writing of dedication easy. Laurie was gushing over him, repeating how much she loved his books. At least, she hadn't asked him to sign her chest. He was handing the book back with a professional smile when Beckett reappeared.

"Oh. Hi. I'm sorry," the fan said, her eyes going from the sitting Beckett to Castle. She was embarrassed. "I didn't know you were here with your girlfriend. I'm going. Thanks for the autograph."

"Oh, I'm not his girlfriend," Beckett said, but the flustered Laurie was already gone.

"Have a good night," Castle said to the retreating form. His smile had faded though.

He didn't look at Beckett. The fact that she had corrected his fan had hurt him. It was so easy to let it go, but no. She wanted to make sure no one would mistake her for his girlfriend.

She sensed that something was wrong, of course. She knew Castle.

"Rick," she called. He didn't look up. "Please." He was focused on finishing his ice cream. She covered his hand with hers. "Rick... I didn't mean..." She stopped there because she didn't know what she really meant. "You know I want to take this slow. I don't want it to hit your fan sites just yet. Believe me, I know how those are." She gave this little titbit of information, hoping to cheer him up. He looked at her then. She immediately saw he was fighting a tiny smile. His twinkling eyes were giving it away. She decided to give him more. "Because I sometimes browse them." The tiny smile appeared. He turned his palm so they were holding hands. She squeezed it and smiled at him as brightly as she could. "Come on, Castle. Let's go."

"Already?"

"Yeah. I need some rest and you need to finish that zombie movie with your daughter."

"Right." The fact she remembered that information about Alexis, and reminded him of it, made his heart soar. She cared about him, about his family. She was perfect. Not that he didn't know that already, but this was just another reason why she was all he wanted.

She let him walk her to her door. They kissed goodnight – well, made out - in the lobby of her building until the taxi driver grew impatient and honked. They separated reluctantly.

"Until tomorrow."

She just nodded, not trusting her voice. One last peck and he was gone.

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><p>"No. But I will do you one better."<p>

She smiled, intrigued.

"Dinner at the loft."

She panicked for a a second. But the look on his face made her realize : he just survived a hostage situation. He needed to be with the people he loved. His daughter, his mother. And her. A warm feeling roamed her body. She couldn't deny him that, she didn't want to, she wouldn't.

"I'd love to." His smile could have lightened a galaxy. It dropped as they walked to the elevator.

"My mother's doing the cooking though," he grimaced.

She swatted his arm.

"Be nice. She had a rough day too."

As she was driving to his place, he couldn't help but stare at her. Soon, he was touching her, caressing her neck, amazed that she allowed him to. He wanted to tangle his fingers through her hair so he undid her bun, letting the brown curls cascade on her shoulders. He played with it and she gave him an annoyed look. He knew better, she liked it or he would already be dead.

"You must be very glad I'm alive.. to let me do that," he noted.

"I am."

After she parked, she leaned in to kiss him, both hands gripping the lapels of his jacket. A slow and tender kiss. One to reassure herself he was here. One she couldn't have in the bank. He broke the kiss first, resting his forehead against hers, his hands buried in her now messy curls.

"We'd better go."

During the ride up in the elevator, he watched with a grin as she tried to fix her hair. Finally giving up on the bun, she just put a pin on top, so her hair wouldn't be in her eyes.

"You're beautiful," he said, in awe. She tried to control her blush. Fortunately, they arrived at his floor.

"Behave," she just warned, with a smile, before he opened the door.

He made a show of putting his poker face on. She rolled her eyes, smiling.

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><p>So obviously, this one was about explaining why Beckett didn't deny he was her boyfriend, (she was feeling guilty about denying it once already) and why Castle denied it (he understood the need for Beckett to be discreet). Plus I added the thing about her hair. It bothered me when I watched the episode. I hope this one made sense, tell me what you think. Next chapter after Heartbreak hotel... if it still fits.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all the reviews! It always makes me want to write more. :-)  
>This one starts just after Cops &amp; Robbers and goes on into Heartbreak hotel. Edited only once, I apologize for the typos.<p>

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><p>The whole dinner was a hoot. Martha was on fire, telling stories about Castle's youth. The writer himself had a few tales of his own, of course. The wine helping, Beckett also traded stories about Castle's antics at the precinct. The ones when he wasn't in danger anyway. Even Alexis was laughing by the time they were eating desserts. But the girl retreated to her room shortly after they put the dishes away. Castle watched with a sad face his daughter walk up the stairs.<p>

"Oh, Richard. She'll be fine. She will listen to that singer with the single name and the rain on fire thing. Maybe eat some ice cream. She'll grieve a little then meet another dashing young boy and all will be forgotten!" Martha tried to reassure his son. He gave her a look.

"I'm okay with Adele and the ice cream. The other boy. Not so much." He walked purposefully to the freezer and retrieves a large cup of cookie dough ice cream. "I'm gonna bring that to her. I'll be right back," he said to Beckett as he headed upstairs, grabbing a spoon on the way.

The detective looked on. The fond look on her face didn't escape Martha.

"So? How are you and Richard doing?" The older woman asked, taking Kate by the arms to lead her to the couch. She put the wine bottle and the two glasses she was carrying expertly with one hand on the table and turned her attention to Beckett. Her eyes shone with curiosity.

"What? We, I..." Beckett stammered. She decided to play dumb. "What do you mean?"

"I was in the bank when you came in. Both times. And dear, if you have no feelings for my son, run straight to Hollywood. You'll make a fortune! Maybe win an oscar."

Beckett froze, looking anywhere but at Martha. The actress laughed and poured some wine. Giving a glass to Beckett, she added : "If I'm mistaken, I apologize. But I'm pretty confident about it. And I'm happy for you two. Alexis will be too."

Martha got up as Castle was descending the stairs. "I'm heading out. My friends saw me on the news, they want to know all about it!" She took her coat, waved with a flourish. "Richard, I poured you some wine." And she was out the door.

Castle chuckled at his mother then sat next to Beckett. Seeing her a bit apathetic, he took her hand.

"You're okay?"

"I just had an interesting chat with your mother. Well she chatted, I sat there embarrassed." Castle groaned.

"Oh god. I'm sorry. What did she say?"

"I think she knows." He squeezed her hand.

"And how do you feel about that?" He was holding his breath. She shrugged.

"I'm okay with it. I mean she seemed okay with it too, so..." Castle exhaled loudly.

"Good, because Alexis knows too."

"What? You told her?"

"No! She guessed," he defended himself. "When I went upstairs, she just told me out of the blue that she was happy for me."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. She didn't let me the time. She just took the ice cream and put her headphones back on."

Beckett pulled up her glass to toast. She waited for Castle to do the same.

"To your family, for not making a big deal out of it."

Their glasses clanged but Castle didn't drink. He leaned in instead, taking her glass from her, and claimed her mouth. Without breaking the kiss, he tried to set the glasses on the table. It was an awkward position but he wasn't spilling any wine. Beckett laughed a little in the kiss. He wasn't worried, he had done it before. Not that he would ever tell her that. His hands free, he pulled her closer, bringing her body flushed against his. She deepened the kiss, her hands flying to his hair. When they came up for air, she was practically sitting in his lap. She laid her forehead against his, enjoying the feel of his caresses down her back, over her hips, on her thighs and up again.

"Alexis' upstairs," she said between panting breaths.

Castle's eyes were half-closed. He just hummed.

"You daughter." He opened his eyes and cleared his throat.

"Right." He sighed. "I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go," she answered in the same beat.

He pulled away slightly before plunging towards her, sealing their lips together.

"Want to see my room?" He whispered against her mouth.

"Thought you'd never ask."

They stumbled, still attached, to the back of the loft. But Castle stopped near his office.

"Alexis!" He shouted loudly and waited for an answer, ignoring Beckett confused glare. When no answer came, he turned to her. "We're good." Beckett looked horrified but he took her hand, leading her to his bedroom.

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><p>The meeting with Tommy Moretti was set the next morning. Meaning the gang needed a place to stay for the night. Castle quickly offered to pay for the rooms at the Sapphire. Beckett pulled a face.<p>

"Oh come on, boss!" Both Ryan and Esposito whined.

"Yes! Come on, Beckett!" Castle encouraged.

"Fine!"

Castle excitedly ran to the desk. Beckett rolled her eyes as Esposito and Ryan fed the birds. They all went to dinner together – in Elvis costumes, no less. But since they had to get up early, they skipped drinks and gambling afterwards. Much to Castle's chagrin. In the elevator ride to their rooms, Beckett noticed Castle was very careful when he gave away the four key cards. Sure enough, she found her room was the one next to his, while the boys' were on the other side of the corridor. She barely made it to the bed when Castle knocked on the connecting door. She went to open it.

"You chose those on purpose, didn't you?"

Not bothering to answer, Castle gathered her in his arms and kissed her. He backed her to the bed, making them fall on it. He started singing, trying to seduce her with his best Elvis impersonation. She pushed him away, laughing.

"Please! Just... No!"

"What?" He pouted. "You're no fun. I think I'm doing a pretty good Elvis."

She gave him a pointed look.

"Elvis, not your thing. Got it. See, we're learning more about each other!"

She melted at his words and pulled him back to her. But her hands in the hair brought her back to the reality of the costume. She pushed him again.

"I'Òm sorry! I really can't with you in that ridiculous outfit. And the wig! Ew."

"Fine!" He jumped up and went to the bathroom. "Maybe you can help me? Those clothes are really hard to remove..." He waggled his eyebrows, striking a pose in the threshold. He glanced inside the bathroom. "Plus, the shower in there is huge!"

Beckett shook her head but got up. She pushed him inside and he grinned.

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><p>Later that night, as they laid together in bed, Beckett got curious.<p>

"So. Today. Did you just work the case or did you have time to corrupt Ryan and Esposito?"

"I wish. I had tickets for a burlesque show. Now I guess Ryan's impromptu bachelor party is ruined."

"You were trying to have a bachelor party while working the case?" She sounded outraged.

"No! Well, yes... But we had a good reason. Ryan's stuck with Jenny's half-brother as a best man. He's sixteen."

Beckett sniggered.

"Don't mock. A good bachelor party is crucial! An underage mathlete wannabe can't pull it off. But we'll reschedule."

She raised an eyebrow. "If that entails strippers, I'm gonna be pissed, Castle."

"No stripper. Maybe show girls, on a scene. Massages, but respectable ones. Booze lots of booze. And jam."

"Jam?"

"Don't ask." He was reminiscent for a moment, a nostalgic smile on his lips. She took that time to observe him. Then she cuddled up to his side.

"How about that... If we close this case quickly, I'll let you boys have the afternoon off to have this bachelor party."

Castle looked down at her, surprised but pleased. "You would?"

"One condition."

"Anything."

She suddenly looked unsure and very girly.

"Don't... I don't know how to put it. Don't enjoy the show girls or the massages... too much?" Her voice was so unsteady it rattled him. He took her face between his hands, looking straight into her eyes.

"Never. I can even close my eyes the whole show if you ask me to. But I hope that you trust me, because I can assure you : I love you way too much to betray you like that."

She gasped. This time there was no denying she heard the L word. She escaped the grip of his hands on her face and buried herself in the crook on his neck.

"I love you," she whispered against his skin. His arms squeezed her as his heart swelled with happiness. He rolled them over, hovering above her, forcing her to see his smiling face.

"That's good. But I love you more!" he said before bending down to kiss her, not awaiting any reply.

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><p>So how about that? See you after Kill shot, if this story still makes sense. Man, two weeks hiatus is long! How did I ever survive four months?<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note : As usual, thanks for all the kind words! Two weeks are so very very long! Anyway, linking Heartbreak hotel to Kill shot : not easy. So I "broke protocol" on this one. It's set during Kill shot and not in between episodes. Hopefully, you'll recognize the scenes I refer to.

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><p>Beckett had laughed it off. The way Lanie and Esposito had avoided the word sniper. Castle had played along. But he had seen how she had placed her hand on her bullet scar when she was looking down on Sarah Vasquez. In the comfort of her apartment, mulling over the case from the couch, he was trying to bring it up. She had other ideas. He was leaning forward, reading the file on the table when he felt her hand creep underneath his shirt. It went up his back and down again, her fingers slipping in the waistband of his pants. He controlled his grin, waiting for her to inch closer. She did, her other hand coming to stroke his thigh. She placed kisses along his jaw, on his neck. The file quickly laid forgotten on the table as he turned to her. Both hands around her face, he kissed her, lazily at first, slowly heating it up. Her hands fumbled with the buttons of his shirt. He pulled away, just long enough to get rid of her top. It flew behind the sofa and his lips found hers again. His mouth was descending along her neck to her cleavage. Suddenly, she tenses.<p>

"Castle, please," she breathed, getting away from him.

"Did I hurt you?"

The concern in his voice was too much to bear for her. He had kissed her scar hundreds of time already, thousands maybe. But this time was different. It used to soothe her, it just put her on edge now.

"No. I just... I..." She trailed off, not sure of what to say. What came to her was such a cliché, an easy way out. "I'm not in the mood." His face fell and she hated herself. He knew better than to put her in front of her contradiction, though. The fact that she initiated the make-out session was irrelevant. The poor excuse she gave too. "I need to rest, tough day," she added, to soften the blow.

"You want me to go?" He didn't hide the shock in his voice. She looked at him, the last thing she wanted to do was hurting him.

"Do you mind?"

'Yes!' He wants to scream.

"No, of course... I understand. But we don't have to... I can stay and be quiet we can watch a movie or just..." He stopped his pathetic attempt when she shook her head.

"I need some alone time right now." She didn't want to hurt him but he kept pushing. It was not her fault. "This," she gestured between them. "It's going too fast for me."

He stared at her, flabbergasted.

"O-kay." He got up then a little lost. He buttoned his shirt back up. He headed to the door, hesitated, turned around. Beckett had gotten up. He stood just in front of her. Leaning in, he placed a kiss on her lips, a non-erotic, non-sexual one. She didn't kiss back, but she didn't pull away either. He gave her a small smile. His way to say it was okay even if it hurt a little. She tried to smile back as she walked him to the door, stopping in the kitchen when she realized she was just wearing black pants, a bra and her scars. Her neighbors didn't need that kind of show.

* * *

><p>Beckett went home without him. He hadn't even tried to coax her into dinner or drinks. But God, did she need a drink! She pulled a bottle from the kitchen cabinet, settling herself in her living room. She poured a large glass and drank it all at once. Her phoned chimed. A text from Castle.<p>

'_I got a riddle for you. Who is a writer, got two thumbs and no clue what to write except: what's up?'_

She chuckled but it came out more like a sob. He really was trying to give her space and tell her 'Im here just in case, you know'. She felt grateful and awful at the same time. She wondered what to write back. She knew she couldn't fool him with yet another 'I'm fine'. She didn't need to, she just needed him to leave her alone for a while, while she got herself together.

_'LOL. Goodnight Castle.' _

She looked at her text. Not even close to was she was feeling and thinking. It was curt enough without being rude to give him reassurance. She hit send and poured herself another drink.

* * *

><p>He didn't know what to make of her reply. He pondered the wisdom of texting back.<p>

_'Goodnight, love you,'_ he typed. Was that pushing? No. Yes. Maybe. Hell with it, after all, he thought, he was just saying goodnight to his... girlfriend...

"Oh god," he muttered aloud. He sent it anyway. Ready to be yelled at the next day.

He felt the desperate need to help her and knew he couldn't. He opened his laptop and started researching PTSD. Combat, soldiers, Iraq... he read. It hit him and he could have hit himself for not thinking about it sooner : Esposito. The detective was a soldier, he'd been in battle. He probably had some ideas about what Beckett was going through. He just needed to convince him to intervene. Without Beckett realizing it came from him.

* * *

><p>"Beckett!.. Kate!" He called after her as she ran. She didn't hear. He hesitated before following her. After a minute, when she didn't came back, he pushed the door she went through. Tentatively. What he heard ripped his heart out, his sides clutched with every sob. Her cries, the profound sorrow and pain was overwhelming. And she was behind the corner he didn't dare turn.<p>

'Give her space.' He repeated Esposito's words like a mantra. He wanted to cry too. He stayed there, invisible to her, silent and upset. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close, protect her with his arms around her and never let go. She would push him away. Despite his love, his trust in her, her strength and her ability to overcome everything, he couldn't help her. He never felt so useless. So he leant against the wall while she sobbed, a few feet from him. He would let her have this alone time but he'd be standing guard, unknown to her.

He left as her sobs quiet down, as silently as he could. In her state, he doubted she would hear anyway. He took a cab back to the precinct. He needed to speak to Esposito before Beckett reappeared.

* * *

><p>Author's note bis : Wow, that was tough to reconcile (canon and the fic). I hope it works. Anyway, another two weeks to wait for next episode, it's unbearable! I'm not sure this fic will still be "viable" after Cuffed. To be honest, I hope not! We'll see what I can find to write then.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

SPOILER ALERT for the Cuffed sneak peek. If you read the story and saw the video, you know the one...

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><p>Something woke her up. Before Beckett could register what, she saw Castle's face and smiled. She loved waking up with him. A weird noise from behind startled her and she realized their surroundings. Not exactly her bedroom nor his, unless he redecorated it. Again. They were both fully clothed. When they were together, the dressing code was closer to "naked". Finally, she eyed the cuffs binding their left hands together. Something was wrong. Also, she didn't remember getting to sleep in the first place.<p>

"Don't get up yet. Stay in bed", he sleepily muttered, out of habit.

"Castle!"

"Kate. Hi." He turned his head to greet her but wasn't fully awake yet.

"Castle!" She called more forcefully.

"What?"

"Did you do this?"

"What?" She was getting annoyed.

"Stop saying 'what' and wake up!" She hated when he was like this. He was not a morning person, not like her anyway. She wished his brain would kick in because he had some explaining to do.

"I don't..." He trailed off when he spotted the cuffs on their wrists.

"We're handcuffed. It's kinky." He wasn't waking up and she was starting to panic. She needed an explanation. Stat.

"Castle, it's not funny!" She admonished.

"I didn't say funny, I said kinky," he rectified. God, she was grumpy before coffee. "And I didn't cuffed us."

"You think I cuffed us?" Like he thought, grumpy.

"Well, they look like police cuffs," No way he was suffering her wrath for this.

"Somebody else did this to us!" Panic was definitely settling in. She sat up, forcing him to follow, twisting his arm awkwardly. She was in detective mode. Upon seeing the room they were in, Castle realized the situation they were in. Bad wasn't even starting to describe it.

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><p>It's more of a drabble than a chapter but I thought the sneak peek deserved this. Because it still fits with my story ! I think the end of this story is near, though. Do I need to mention the – brilliant - dialogues are – so obviously - not mine but Andrew Marlowe's and Terri Miller's?<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

A/N : Between Kill Shot and Cuffed. This one starts two or three days before Cuffed. I apologize for the mistakes and typos in this. It's late and I'm tired. But I take critics about them pretty well, so...

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><p>His hands roaming underneath her shirt were distracting. Castle was pushing against Beckett's back, making it difficult for her to open the door.<p>

"Let me," he chuckled against her neck, one hand abandoning her waist to take the key. She jostled it away.

"I'm fine," she replied, breathless. "If you could just wait a minute."

He pressed his hips against her ass so she could feel what she did to him. "Just one, then."

* * *

><p>Castle rolled off of Beckett, panting. He settled back beside her on the couch, rearranging his clothes.<p>

Beckett closed her eyes, coming down from her high. For some reason, she felt annoyed. Lately, their relationship was weighing on her. When they were alone, they were catching up on each other. Not being able to express their feelings in front of others took its toll, she knew. But when did they become those horny teenagers? Castle was a talker. He had always wanted to talk : about her mom, about them, about her 'nowhere relationships'. Except, now that she was ready to talk to him, with him, he wasn't pushing it anymore.

She groaned and got up. Gathering her discarded pants and shirt, she walked briskly to the bathroom. She kicked the door shut. Castle's contented smile fell. He had witnessed her exit, puzzled.

"What the..."

He hesitated for a second before following her. He knocked on the door and opened it when no answer came. The shower was running. He sat on the chair next to the sink, waiting. She didn't even registered his presence when she stepped out. He watched her intently.

"What was that?" He asked.

"What was what?"

"Kate? Seriously. You want to play it like this? You're mad at me for some reason."

She wrapped herself in a towel.

"Look, if I have done something wrong, I'll apologize. Gladly. But I really don't get it. One minute we're... all over each other, the next you walk away, angry." He tugged at her hand with the tip of his fingers, calling for her attention. "Kate, talk to me, please."

"Is this just sex? Between us?"

His eyes grew wide. "You're kidding me, right?" He was flabbergasted and a little pissed at her lack of faith. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"I don't know, Castle. That's all we do when we're together."

"That's not true," he replied immediately.

"Outside of work, when we're alone ? That's all we do," she reiterated. He had to stop and think about it. Okay, maybe she had a point, he realized.

"But it's because we see each other at the precinct, during the investigation. We're together then too," he tried to justify.

She left the bathroom for her bedroom, letting him behind without an answer.

"Kate," he called again, trailing behind her. "I love you more than anything You know that. How can you even think..." He paused, suddenly afraid. "Is this what it is for you?" She spun to face him and threw him a death glare. He held up his hands. "Just checking!"

"I just wish we could talk a little before you jump my bones." She turned back to her closet, looking for fresh clothes. She was pissed again.

"You make it sound like I pounce on you every chance I get."

"Because that's not what happened half an hour ago," she observed, dryly.

His threw his arms up in frustration.

"Like you weren't a willing participant? Are you gonna accuse me of rape, next?"

She marched up to him clad only in jeans and bra, anger flashing in her eyes.

"Do you have to be such a drama queen, Castle? I'm saying that we meet up, we have sex, we sleep. Then, unless I get an early call because of a body, you're already gone."

"I apologize about the rape comment. But you're taking me a bit by surprise, here. I'll gladly give up sex if it means you take me and this relationship seriously. And not accuse me being some kind of sex maniac."

"One. I never said that. Two. Yeah, right. You wouldn't last a week without sex," she snorted.

"You don't believe me," he took offense. She smirked, infuriating him even more. "You're on, Beckett. No sex from now on. We'll see who cave first."

She narrowed her eyes at him. She tried to call his bluff with a staring contest : "Okay."

"Good."

"It's settled then."

"No more sex!"

"I have to finish getting dressed."

"Yes, you do."

He sat on her bed with a sigh and let the silence fall between them. After a few minutes, he spoke.

"Want to go to dinner tonight? I can get a table at Le Cirque."

He was trying to understand, she should give him that. But he also confronted her with her own contradictions. She buttoned her shirt slowly, to buy some time.

"Don't you think it's a little too page six?" She said.

"I'm not the one who wants to keep this relationship a secret. You don't even let me hold your hand in the lobby of your building! And for the record, I leave in the mornings because *you* told me to go make breakfast for Alexis like I always did... And you never want to stay at the loft." He should really learn to shut up. Especially about her trying to be considerate about his daughter. He had always been a master at picking up fights. He had to wonder if he was self destructive. But Beckett surprised him.

She looked at him, thoughtful.

"Maybe not Le Cirque. But somewhere nice. What about Maddie's restaurant?"

His eyebrows shot up. "Really?" He was beaming.

"I don't know," she backed down. "Let's go to Remy's." Castle's hope were crushed.

"Fine," he begrudged. He got up and left her room, mumbling. "We always end up where you want anyway."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing." He smiled innocently. He knew not to push his luck. The battle about her controlling habits could wait.

* * *

><p>Beckett had tried to trip him up a few times already. But they were fine. This silly game was actually good for their relationship. The camaraderie and the teasing was back. After her PTSD episode, it had somehow vanished. Now, the fun wasn't about being naked anymore. It was refreshing. She was surprised at how well he controlled himself. And a little disappointed. Every time she saw a crack in his resolve, it was actually an attempt to make her cave. They never spoke directly about the bet. Castle just dropped little hints, like his comment about the seedy motel. She didn't mind, it was fair game.<p>

The whole ordeal of being cuffed together was like the universe mocking them and their stupid bet. But they had been focusing on getting out. Plus, it was worth it in the end, he thought. Just to hear her say :

"But next time, let's do it without the tiger."

He gloated in the middle of the precinct. Beckett wanted him. Bad! She was so losing this bet.

Once the doors of the lift closed, she breathed out in relief. She thought she had made a good job at dodging his faux-pas. Hitched? Was he crazy to swing words like that? But she had tamed her rising panic and was proud of herself. Her allusion to - what she knew was - one of his fantasies had been a great way out.

"Oh, Castle, you're so easy!" She smirked, resting her head back on the elevator's wall.

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><p>AN : I apologize for the sitcom plot. Full disclosure : "A bet about no sex, REA-LLY?" My creativity asked. I said : "Shut up!"

I tried to explain everything. I think one line doesn't fit. The one about his fantasies and her permission. Oh, well... So, what do you think? Does this story still hold?

TBC after Still death do us part... oh god, I don't want to write it : January the 9th... *sob*


	7. Chapter 7

I'm back! A little later than usual because I found the last scene of 'Till Death difficult to work with. Still not happy about it, but well... Here we go. As usual, thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about this one.

Set just before and during the episode.

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><p>Castle was snooping in her apartment when she came out of the bathroom. Hearing her footsteps, he turned around holding Ryan and Jenny's wedding invitation.<p>

"You haven't RSVPed? It's next Sunday!"

She snapped the paper out of his hand.

"I did. I told Ryan, I just forgot to send the thing."

He put his hands on his heart in mock horror. "This might kill Jenny's mother, it's gonna derail everything. The sitting chart, the number of meals... **Everything**!"

She glared at him but he smirked and stole the paper back. He took a pen out of his black jacket pocket and wrote her name.

"So plus one?" He teased.

"Maybe. If you continue being this childish." He beamed and she realized he had taken it as a compliment. "Not with you. The plus one might be for this dark, tall, handsome firefighter."

"The one that saves puppies? You tried that, he wasn't cutting it," He mocked.

"No, another one." She took the carton back again as he stood there, mouth agape. She proceeded to complete her RSVP, sliding it in an envelope and closing it.

"And when did you meet this... muscles-but-no-brain fire extinguisher guy, my dear detective?"

"Did I forgot to mention Harvard alumni?" She licked the lid of the envelope, not so innocently, and he groaned.

"Come on. We're gonna be late," she said eventually, heading for the door.

He straightened his dark blue dress shirt and followed her.

"You know, it would just be just easier if you were my plus one."

"Uh-huh," Beckett ironized. "And have the all precinct exchange dollar bills at the ceremony? No way. Jenny would kill us. And possibly Ryan."

Castle made a face. She had a point.

* * *

><p>After their little conversations about their numbers, Castle had seemingly let go of the subject. They had gone back to Beckett's place with take-out. The wine helping, they had ended up in bed. Without the handcuffs, this time. As they laid there panting, she sensed Castle's mind reeling.<p>

"What?"

He rolled on his side to look at her.

"So, no numbers, but... I'm the best you had, right?"

"Men!" She muttered once again.

"Come on, you can at least tell me that!"

"No."

"Why?"

"It's a lose lose situation for me. Either I tell you you are and it will feed your already gigantic ego. Or you aren't and you'll sulk and whine until I tell you otherwise."

"I would never do that," he tried. She gave him a pointed look.

"Okay, maybe I would. But you could also look at it differently. You tell me and if I am, I'll keep doing what I'm doing. If I'm not, I'll work and try to improve until I become the best."

"Work, huh?" Beckett noted, amused

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not telling you, Rick." To put an end on the conversation, she snuggled against him, letting him pull her close. It didn't work.

"Am I in the top 3? Top 10?"

"Castle," she warned and he shut up. After a minute, she decided to give him something. Tilting her head up, she kissed the spot underneath his ear.

"You're perfect," she whispered. She didn't need to see him to know a smug smile had appeared on his face. "And don't gloat, I didn't say you were the best," she felt the need to add.

"Close enough." He **was** gloating.

"Didn't you say you wanted to go home?"

"Yes," he remembered suddenly. "Alexis went shopping for a dress with my mother, I want to see it... And make sure I'm not broke. They have my credit card," he explained as he extracted himself from her bed. "By the way, sorry I didn't tell you about my "date". But I really wanted to do that prank. Did you see Ryan's face?" He was grinning like a kid who pulled a good one.

"Very funny," she sat up in bed, arms embracing her knees, the white sheet covering her. She watched him dress.

"I know." He bent to press a kiss to her lips which she returned gladly. "And you're perfect, too, Kate." He winked. With a last wave he was gone, leaving Beckett shaking her head but smiling.

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><p>As soon as Alexis told him about the Lady Gaga concert, he called Beckett.<p>

"Beckett," she puffed and he knew she didn't take the time to check the caller ID.

"You're still breathless? I knew I was good..."

"Slow down, boy. I'm just trying on dresses for Sunday."

A disappointed moan escaped his lips. "You waited til I was gone? What are you wearing now?" He asked softly into the phone, his hand over his mouth, mindful of his daughter and mother just a few feet away.

"You'll have to wait to see it, Castle."

"No private show before the wedding?"

"Maybe after," she answered coyly.

"I like the sound of that," he leered.

"Castle, about that," she paused and he started to worry. "Promise me you won't do anything that can pass as 'couply'. No kisses, no longing looks. I really don't want some gossip starting at Ryan's wedding."

"I promise to behave. Or at least be discreet." He put his right hand up even if she couldn't see him. "Listen, I was also calling about the wedding. Ale..." He was interrupted as the door bell in Beckett's apartment rang.

"Oh god. That's Lanie, she's early. We're going out for drinks. I've got to go. See you tomorrow, ok?"

She had hand up without waiting for her answer, leaving him puzzled on the other end of the line.

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><p>Castle went in search of his partner when he arrived at the precinct. He finally ran into her in the back. After a quick and frustrating exchange of innocent hellos, he walked with her into the bullpen.<p>

"So Alexis and my mother both managed to get invitations out of their shopping trip. Which would be fine if it wasn't on..." He trailed off seeing Ryan and Esposito fight. He and Beckett both rushed to separate the two partners. Soon, they were all engrossed in the case once again.

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><p>It was early Sunday afternoon. And it was only as he was leaving the loft, alone, that Castle realized he had totally forgotten to tell Beckett about his status a a single man for the wedding. As he climbed in the town car awaiting him in front of his building, he pulled out his phone.<p>

_"Where are you?"_ He texted her.

_"Already in. Where are you?"_ Came the response.

_"On the way. Wait for me at the entrance?"_

_"Sure. Just remember you promised to be careful not to give us away."_

He smirked. He had already a plan to act all awkward to throw her off. See what he might get out of her. He also sent a silent prayer to the power that be. 'Please, let it be a very good dress. Well, not too much cleavage', he amended in his thoughts. He wasn't in the mood to see other men ogling her.

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><p>They had shuffled the sitting arrangements. It had awarded them a few glares from Jenny's mum but Castle, Beckett, Lanie, Esposito and their dates were all sitting together, enjoying the good champagne and the excellent cake.<p>

"So Castle, Kate's your plus one in the end?" Lanie pushed again. She had been asking that question since the beginning of the dinner.

"Alexis stood me up," Castle explained for the hundredth time.

"I'm just filling in, Lanie." Beckett added.

"Sure," Esposito smirked while taking another bite of cake.

An hour later, Castle and Beckett were among the couples dancing. They made sure there was a respectable distance between them. They were friends, colleagues, partners, just dancing. Nothing less, nothing more.

"They're onto us, you think?"

"No more than usual. Try to keep your hands off my butt and we'll be fine."

"Seriously, Castle?" Beckett chided.

"You've been undressing me with your eyes and throwing me looks me since the church!" His tone was light but he wasn't joking, not really.

"Was not!"

"And that little comment about third time the charm? I know what you're doing."

"And what is that?" She wanted to be stern but the humor dripped from her voice.

"You want me!" He teased.

She leant back to take a better look at him. Was it the wedding atmosphere? They both felt the shift in her mood.

"Actually, I really do. Want you. And that," she said seriously. She was looking pointedly around the decorated ballroom and at the newlyweds, dancing a few feet away. "Not now, now. But at some point? Yes, with you."

Castle had been dropping hints about commitments, even marriage for months. She had either ignored or deflected them with jokes. But not this time. Something passed in his eyes. Love, happiness, joy even. And lust. He took a step closer.

"I want to kiss you senseless right now," he rasped, sending a shiver across her body.

"What about we finish this dance and then, find a... quiet corner," she was surprised at her own audacity. She bit her lower lip. It was his turn to shiver.

"You're killing me, you know that?"

Both of them tried to think about something else for the remainder of the song. At the last notes played out, he kissed her hand softly, like a perfect gentleman.

"End of the hall bathroom, ten minutes," she whispered.

"Five," he rectified as she walked away from him.

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><p>That's it for now. Hope you liked it (please review either way, it really really help). And see you after "M for mayor", I hope. ;-)<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

Here it is. How awesome was Dial M for Mayor, by the way?

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You're great!

Mistakes are mine (and numerous, I'm sure, I apologize. I wrote it in a rush.) This time, those are between the scenes of the episode. Hopefully, you'll recognize the timeline.

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><p>As they were driving back to the precinct from the City Hall, Beckett couldn't help but ask.<p>

"So, you still talk about me to the mayor?"

Castle smiled fondly at her. "Yeah."

She tried to contain her own smile. She was pleased but she felt a bit uneasy too. And curious.

"What do you say?"

He shrugged. "Only good things. You heard him."

She nodded.

"Thank you. But maybe you shouldn't. He's kind of my boss. And maybe he will suspect something if you keep telling him... things like that." She just wasn't able to say "I'm the best."

"Oh, don't worry, he knows I'm in love with you."

Beckett nearly hit the brakes.

"What!"

"Why do you think he agreed to call in favors and make me shadow you four years ago?"

"Four years ago?" Now she was confused.

"Well, then he just thought I was bored and looking for some..." Castle paused, looking for the right words. "to get some," he finally decided to settle on, earning himself a glare from his partner. "Then he met you. At the fundraiser, the case of the jewelery thief, remember? Then the poker game. I don't know when he figured it out. Probably even before me."

"How do... What!" Her mind was racing.

"Well, every time I win at poker, they hassle me."

She quirked an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate. He begrudgingly went on.

"Stuff about being lucky at cards and unlucky in love. Jokes like : 'This unrequited love affair of yours with the NYPD is costing me dearly'. Most of the time they offer advice."

"They? As in?" Beckett was starting to panic.

"My Gotham City crew. Markaway, the commissioner. You know that I play with them," he said, surprised at her reaction.

"Play poker, yes. Not that you talk about me and your feelings for me," she hissed.

"Wow, wow, wow. I never said that I discuss it. They poke fun at me. Because, apparently, I'm pretty obvious. While they think you string me along. I usually ignore them and gloat, swimming in their money. So, no need to be mad."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just not very conformable with the idea of people discussing me," she said, pulling up in a parking space near the precinct. She wanted to reassure him all was fine. She took a good look around. Happy no one was looking, she kissed him before exiting the car.

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><p>The review of the case file wasn't going very well. The day had been a full one, between the mayor, the confrontation with Gates and the discovery of the phone sex office. Beckett and Castle were tired. They sat at the dining table, trying to make sense of it all.<p>

"I really don't understand why she changed her life like that," Castle repeated.

"Well, maybe it matters. But I think the recording is really the missing piece of our puzzle."

"Literally, missing."

They exchanged tight smiles before diving back into the papers in front of them. Frustrated by the lack of progress, Castle finally sat back with a sigh, focusing himself on the burning fire in front of him.

"You're staying tonight?" He asked her.

"Can't. I promised my dad I would have dinner with him," she said.

He pouted and she patted his knee.

"You can always dial a goddess!"

"I don't need to, I have one in front of me right now." He threw his most charming smile at her. She got up.

"And she's on her way out, so feel free to spend $4.99 a minute," she teased. "You know, just for. Therapy."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a stranger to this kind of things," he lied.

"Sure!" She was putting her coat and and smiling, mocking him.

"I swear!" he defended himself.

Martha chose that moment to come down the stairs.

"I need a break from costumes", she announced. "And I am in dire need of wine. Who's with me?

"No thank you Martha, I'm have to go", Beckett said. She bent down to the still sitting Castle. She put her mouth to his ear.

"If you're not familiar, I'll have to start talking really, **really**, dirty to you then," she whispered. She pecked his lips as he sat there, stunned and turned on. He didn't even walk her to the door.

"Bye guys," Beckett said over her shoulder and she was gone. Castle took a deep, calming, breath.

"I'll have wine, Mother."

With a knowing smirk, Martha walked back to the cupboard to retrieve another glass.

"So how is the case of the sex phone gal who knew too much going?", Martha asked, curious about their peculiar case.

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><p>When Alexis got home in the afternoon, she found her dad sulking in his office.<p>

"Hey, what's up? Is the case closed?" She was surprised to find him this early at the loft.

"No... How's the looking for an internship going? Found one yet?" He hoped to divert his daughter's attention and maybe try to stir her away from this new idea of hers.

"Nope. I was just doing research today. And I wrote my CV."

Castle frowned and tried to concentrate on his writing. Alexis plopped herself in the chair, observing her father across his desk.

"So... Did you walk away from the case or did she kicked you out?"

Castle groaned. When did she become so perceptive. But who was he kidding? She always had been perceptive.

"A bit of both. We had a disagreement."

"About?"

"The mayor. I think he's innocent."

"And she doesn't?"

He sighed.

"Not exactly. She wants to question him. But she doesn't understand how damaging this could be for him."

"Isn't catching a murderer more important?"

He sighed again. "When you put that way," he grumbled. "It's just..."

He stopped but she pushed him. "The mayor is the only thing that keeps me in the precinct. The captain will have me gone in a flash if he falls."

Alexis looked at him with pity.

"Isn't that a bit selfish of you, Dad? Plus, I think the main thing keeping you in the precinct is Beckett."

He looked up at her. His perfect daughter. "You should trust her, Dad. I know I wasn't her more fervent fan just a few months ago. But, she's the cop, not you. I think she just want to know if he's involved, don't you?"

Castle passed his hand over his face. He got up, walked around his desk and pulled Alexis up.

"Thank you," he muttered against her hair as he hugged her close to his side. "Come on let's go eat. I have a big day tomorrow. I have to question the mayor."

* * *

><p>Beckett didn't know if they were having a fight or not. They were spending another night apart. She had walked away from him after their disagreement in the lobby of City hall. Not even waiting for him. She imagined he had taken a cab home. It hadn't been a shouting match like with his boarding school friend, but they weren't okay either. Fo two days now, she felt something was off with him. She hadn't been able to coax anything out of him, though.<p>

She cuddled up on her couch, the TV on a local station, Heat Wave in her lap. His words were like a comfort blanket. Except she would much rather be in his arms. Not an option at the moment. She couldn't run to him when he was the reason of her funk. She couldn't believe he had asked her to postpone the warrant. After three and a half year by her side, he knew how important it was to move fast to get evidence. His judgment was clouding his mind and preventing her from doing her job.

Of all the problems this relationship could cause, this was the worst. She was a cop and needed to act like one, no matter the consequences. It wasn't against him and she hoped he would see it so they could move passed this.

She didn't know if they could. Doubt was starting to muscle itself in her brain. She couldn't help to wonder if jumping into this relationship had been a mistake. He was usually the one able to squash all second thoughts. Except, this time, he wasn't his usual self. She felt like he was hiding something from her. Or maybe he was bored with her already. She shook the feeling, pushing those bad ideas away. But the seed was there. She closed the book and her eyes. They flew open when the mayor's press conference started. She already knew she would be reviewing it again and again tomorrow.

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><p>That's it. How was it? Please, review. They help a lot ;-)<p>

And yes, I planted some angst at the end. Preparing the field for An embarrassment of bitches. SPOILERS ALERT : the sneak peak worried me a little about this story. Not sure it will hold, but I'll try. Or wander off canon completely.


	9. Chapter 9

It starts just before the end of the episode. For the sake of this, a few weeks (four to six) went by in between Dial M for Mayor and An Embarrassment of Bitches.

* * *

><p>Beckett was closing the case box when Castle appeared at her side. She glanced around, seeing no one, she asked softly : "Hey, how about a quiet night in?"<p>

He smiled but it seemed different, almost sad.

"I'm sorry. I promised Bob a drink."

"Come back afterwards then?"

Castle shuffled on his feet, uncomfortable.

"I have stuff to do, hum. Alexis wants to talk college and stuff."

That was a lie and she considered calling him on it. But his hand went to caress her arm and she decided against it.

"I'll come by tomorrow," he told her with a smile and a tender look. She responded in kind. As he walked away, she tried to shake the odd feeling setting in her gut. She didn't like it.

* * *

><p>"It's gonna sound terrible," she started. The sentence scared the shit out of him. He hoped it didn't show on his face. But she always read him like a book. The irony. She shifted on her couch, closer to him.<p>

"I know I'm asking a lot from you..."

"Kate," he interrupted and she shushed him.

"Let me, please." She was starting to well up. "I love you..."

"I love you too," he whispered, not caring he was interrupting again.

"I love you but I feel. I feel like we jumped into this and I can't... continue," she paused, almost wishing for the interruption. It never came. Next to her, Castle was dumbstruck. She was too afraid to look up at his face so she continued . "I had another... PTSD... Incident? Break? I don't know how to call it."

His hand squeezed her knee but he still wasn't talking.

"I'm better now. No, it's a lie. I feel fine now, but I know I'm not. It's there."

"Dr Burke?" He croaked and she looked up. He had tears in his eyes too.

"It helps. He says he can help."

He nodded. His silence was killing her. She was prepared for a battle, he didn't put one on.

"Rick. What am saying is..."

He jumped to his feet and starting pacing.

"I know what you're saying," he shouted. "You're breaking up, you're tossing me out, you're shedding me!"

"Rick, no!"

"No?" He asked, stopping to stare angrily at her. She bit her lower lip.

"I don't. I can't..." The tears were coming down, now. He calmed down a bit.

"What, Kate? You push, then you pull, then you push again. I don't know where I stand, right now."

"I need this to work, Castle. You're my one and done." He snorted. She was well aware of the paradox in what she was saying. "And for us to work, I need to not feel like this, to not break at every little thing that happens."

"The wall again, Kate?" Sarcasm was dripping from his words.

"You can mock all you want. But we were heading the wrong way, Rick. I was still one foot out the door and you know it. I wasn't, am, not ready for this to get out, for people to know, and you were." He was shaking his head, frustrated at her nonsense.

"Where were you the night we closed the case involving the mayor, Rick. Two weeks ago?"

He froze at the question. It came out of nowhere. She actually had been wondering for a while.

"I told you. With him, having a drink."

"After?"

"With Alexis," he said on the beat, knowing the making of a good lie.

"The thing is, Castle. You weren't. Apparently you didn't answer your phone and she called me. Wanted to know if you were spending the night at my place because you had left without saying anything."

He gulped. "Kate. I swear, I wasn't... doing anything." His hands moved awkawrdly in the air. She chuckled through her tears.

"I know you weren't with another woman, Rick. You're not like this. But there's something going on with you. And you won't tell me."

This was the perfect opportunity to come clean. But she didn't let him the time to gather his courage.

"I'm not asking you what it is. But we need to step back. Just a step. Do you think you can do that?"

"Can you?"

She nodded. "I thought about this. I actually talked about it with Dr Burke."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. He's a therapist, he listens."

The smile escaped him, in spite of the circumstances. He crouched in front of her and wiped the tears from her face.

"So, you wanna go back to what? Do you still want me at the precinct?

"Yes! If you can, of course. Oh, Castle. I'm asking a lot from you, aren't I?" She choked. "I still love you, but I don't want to mess up us. I feel like we were messing up."

"And breaking up is not messing up?"

"I don't know what else to do." She closed her eyes and he pulled her close.

"Okay, okay."

"Okay?"

"I don't like it, but what else can **I** do? Respectfully decline the separation?"

"Don't call it that," she whispered.

"A pause? It sounds awful too."

"I know. I'm sorry. I promise you I'll get there, again. I mean it it when I say you're my one and done." She hugged him harder.

"I need to go," he said, pushing her away.

He cleared his throat, straightening his clothes.

"Are you coming to the precinct tomorrow?" She asked his retreating form. He didn't turn.

"No." He heard her shaky breath. "But call me if you get an interesting case?"

"Yeah."

Beckett stared at her closed door, wondering if Castle he felt as empty as her.

* * *

><p>Walking away had been torture. It was against every fiber of his being, not to fight for her. But he knew better now. Being in a – real, romantic – relationship with her for this past few months, he had learnt a few things about her. Going rounds and rounds against her was pointless. He would win her back by accepting her choice. He was still working on her mother's case. Even more so now that his nights were free. And he needed to get some work done on the next book.<p>

'Keep showing up,' Montgomery had told his secret of marriage was. He would, eventually. He needed a week or so to follow the -slim- lead the phone number and the secret meetings in dark parking garages had unveiled, then he would swing by the precinct. With coffee. Murder or not.

"Yeah, that's the plan," Castle said to himself. Opening his laptop, he started typing.

* * *

><p>The call came one afternoon. He was writing and didn't take the time to check the caller ID. The sound of her voice, hesitant, nearly knocked him off his chair.<p>

"Hey Castle. We've got a good one. A world war II reenaactor killed with with a bayonet."

"Ally or Nazi?" He asked.

"Ally."

"I'm in." She chuckled and it warmed his heart. "Wait! Bayonet, World War II? It doesn't make sense."

"Exactly," she teased.

"Give me the address."

Maybe they could do this 'going back to friends' thing. It was only temporary, after all

* * *

><p>So, <strong>so<strong>, sorry about the angst. The idea came with the 'no hassle Castle' line. Weird, I know. But the shared custody of the dog, while adorable on the show, wasn't really easy to deal with for this fic. So what do you think ? I'm not sure it's still believable.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. It helps a lot to get the writing fluids going. :-) So you're great!  
>This one is pretty short. I might extend it later with another chapter. Don't know yet. After all, Pandora is just a few days away. But enough with me jabbering.<br>It starts during An Embarrassment of Bitches and finishes at the end of Blue Butterfly.

* * *

><p>They were in a good place. Better than Esposito's and Lanie's anyway, Beckett thought as she observed the two bickering above Francisco Pilar's body. As far as exes go, they were a model of civility. It was from than civility really. Both knew this set back was only temporary. And Castle had been very patient, surprising her. It didn't mean there weren't bad moments. But, all in all, Beckett was pretty proud of them. They were friends, ex-lovers and in love. An unusual combination ; it worked for them. Enough for now.<p>

* * *

><p>Once Royal had settled next to her on the couch, Beckett relaxed back. She petted the dog while she thought about what happened - or nearly happened - with Castle.<p>

He had pulled back, showing a restrain she begrudged a little. Saying his name... It hadn't been a way to make him stop. Quite the contrary. The feeling of Castle's fingers made her forget why she had pulled back from their relationship. No, she corrected herself. Not from their relationship, just the physical part of it. She missed his warmth often. Sometimes, she would look at him and smile to hide the fact that all she wanted was to step closer and bury herself into his arms. She sighed and Royal's head perked up.

"Why do I keep doing that to myself, huh? What do you think Royal?"

The dog tilted his head, eyeing her curiously.

"Yeah, I know..."

* * *

><p>Castle sighed as he entered his empty loft. Shared custody. Such a bad idea. Castle had known it from the start. That's how the deep fried Twinky thing started with Meredith. She would come by to pick up Alexis and things led to another over the mutual love for their daughter. And no, he wasn't comparing his pride and joy to a dog. Well, maybe a little. But Royal was so adorable.<p>

He threw his jacket on the chair and plopped down on the couch. This trip to Beckett's had been exhausting. All this fake happy go lucky attitude.

He had taken her hand without thinking it through. Of course, his thumb circling her skin had awakened memories of soft caresses, leading to kisses, leading to... He opened his eyes, suddenly. He was doing it again. Fantasizing about her. That's why he shouldn't go to her apartment, even less take her hand while there. Everything there reminded him of them. He grunted, wishing for some company to distract him. He should really get a dog. If life, when Alexis would be gone for college, resembled this, he would badly need a dog. Or win Kate back. Or both. And shared custody might not be such a bad idea after all. All he needed was an opportunity.

He got up, decided to do some work on the next Nikki Heat book. At least he could get all this fantasizing to good use.

* * *

><p>There were no words to express how much Castle had enjoyed this case. A club in the 40's, a PI, a gangster's moll, jewelery and a love story!<p>

"Now, that's the stuff that dreams are made of," he told Beckett when they entered the elevator.  
>He smiled at her and she smiled right back. His heart beat faster as the door closed. He glanced down at her lips. She did the same. Without thinking further, he gathered her in his arms, film noir style. He placed a searing, bruising kiss on her lips, like he imagined Joe did with Vera all those years ago. He was pretty sure music was swelling in the background, violins picking up.<p>

But soon, the doors of the lift opened again. The car hadn't moved. They broke away, looking stupidly at the empty corridor then back up at each other.

"The button," Castle said, trying to act as normal as possible.

"Right." Beckett turned, a bit hazed, and punched the ground floor one.

The reality check was cruel. Castle wasn't sporting a fedora, nor rocking a double breasted suit. Beckett wasn't glowing in a golden dress. Her lips were red from the kiss and not from some glamorous lipstick.

They still were in limbo about their relationship. But one thing was sure, they were both suckers for a good love story. Always.

TBC...

* * *

><p>As usual, please tell me what you think. Please, review, please... I'm begging now.<p>

I'm especially super proud of my ending on this one. There, I said it, not even ashamed. Tell me if I'm full of myself. ;-)


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you to those who reviewed! I can say it because I'm not Beckett : I love you! lol

A/N and useless trivia : Doing research for another fic (because I know nothing of the NYPD) I just learnt that the chief of Police is currently Joseph Esposito, according to Wikipedia. How cool is that!

Anyway, back to the fic. This one starts before Pandora then catches up to some scenes. Hope you enjoy!

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><p>It was just another day at the precinct. No case, just some paperwork he didn't want to help with. She had wondered why he was there. But she didn't ask. She wanted him there, so why ask him and take the risk he would go home?<p>

"Would you like to go to dinner with me?" Castle blurted.

They were alone in the break room when he asked, preparing coffee. His question really came out of left field.

"Remy's?" She was aiming for casual. She failed.

"No."

She put down her cup, then, raising her eyebrows.

"Castle?"

"Yes. Yes, I'm asking you out on a date."

"Seriously?"

Castle passed his hand over his face, unsure how to explain. "Look, Kate, I think we need to... reset."

She looked puzzled. He opened his mouth to elaborate.

"Yo, Castle! Help us settle this," Esposito and Ryan bursted into the room, going directly for the expresso machine. "Star Wars, The Phantom Menace 3D : Yeah or Nay?"

Castle closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. Beckett got up.

"Well, I'll let you guys get all geeky and go back to my paperwork," she mocked.

The detectives ignored her, Ryan was already on a roll about how great the movie was. Castle watched her leave before concentrating on Ryan's rant. He felt heartbroken all over again.

Back at her desk, Beckett tried to slow her heart rate. Damn the man for being able to elicit those emotions in her. On impulse, she picked up her phone and typed a quick text.

Still in the break room, Castle slowed down his demonstration about the original Star Wars' awesomeness to check his chiming phone.

'OK,' The text read. He froze.

"You okay?" Ryan was worried, the writer rarely stopped in a middle of a theory. Castle beamed at them.

"Oh yeah. I'm good!". Esposito and Ryan shared a look and shrugged, jumping back on the topic of Star Wars and 3D movies.

* * *

><p>After a nice dinner in some low key but very classy restaurant, Castle walked Beckett back to her place. She opened her door, entered but stopped when he didn't follow.<p>

"Rick?"

"Jeez, Kate, first date! I'm not that easy!" He joked. She gave him **the** look. "Sorry. Couldn't resist. But I'm gonna bid you goodnight here."

He stepped in to stand in front of her. He pressed his lips to hers, straining to not deepen the kiss. Both their hearts were hammering. He retreated quickly before giving in.

"Until tomorrow, Kate."

"G'night Rick. Thank you for tonight," she called after him. He turned and winked at her before taking the stairs. He needed to get away before he changed his mind.

Beckett closed her door and leaned against it. She bit her lower lip, enjoying the butterflies in her stomach. Best kinda first date ever, she thought.

* * *

><p>The Angelica was packed. They had arrived late but managed to find two seats in the front of the cinema.<p>

Castle was watching her from the corner of his eyes. He was not staring and felt proud about it. The last time, when they saw the Forbidden Planet, he had stared at her the entire movie. Half way through this one, he felt something crawl up his thigh. He looked down discreetly. Her fingers was making their way up. Without hesitation, he took them and placed their linked hands on the armrest. He smiled at her when she glanced at him. He loved the interrogation he could see on her face, even in the dimmed room.

Once again, he walked her up to her door. He kissed her before she could open this time. Less temptation.

"Until tomorrow, Kate."

"You're not coming in?" He heard the annoyance, loud and clear.

"Nope."

"Castle!" She was using her no nonsense detective tone on him.

"It's only our second date."

"It's not. We slept together already. Against this very door, even."

He gulped, remembering quite vividly. She was playing dirty, but his resolve was unwavering.

"But it's a reset. I'm not letting you sexing me up."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman, here," he explained.

"What if I don't want you to be?"

"Well, tough luck. I'm gonna woo you with white tablecloth dinners and old movies and gallantry ; without crude comments and innuendos and come ons."

"Castle, you can't resist innuendos."

"I'll try my best to avoid them," he paused, observing her narrowing eyes. He knew that look. "You're gonna bait me, aren't you?"

"With all I got."

He chuckled. "Looking forward to it."

"So, what are we doing, here?" She asked.

"We're dating. Casually for now. As to not upset the fragile balance of our partnership."

"Okay..." She nodded, watching her feet. She looked up with a devilish smile on. "Still not coming in?" She licked her lips seductively.

Castle swallowed hard. He regained his composure quickly though.

"Until tomorrow, Kate," A hint of a smile graced her lips as he kissed her cheek. This time, he had to leave even more quickly.

* * *

><p>"We should go to the track sometimes, Castle. See who laps who..." She said. Too innocently to be that.<p>

Castle's brain went to overload. So many dirty jokes, so little time. He schooled his thoughts and his face. However, he would write them all down to tell them back to her later. Payback's a bitch.

* * *

><p>In a trunk. They were in a Gù%$^ùm trunk! These close quarters with Beckett were not good for his gentleman approach of their relationship. He panicked when her hand snaked under him, she was touching his ass! He could smell her cherry shampoo. So not good. He felt a jolt of arousal shot through his belly, right to his groin.<p>

Next to him, Beckett was oblivious of the effect she had. She was concentrating on opening the trunk. All badass detective. Way too sexy for Castle's sanity at the moment. He obeyed when she told him to scoot down. He looked anywhere but at her face, invoking memories of the dullest conversations he ever had. But sure enough his body had other ideas. It was starting to react to her arm brushing, almost stroking, his most sensitive area. The aforementioned body part was waking up. Thankfully, Beckett managed to open the trunk in record time.

"Nice!" He sat up quickly, happy to go out. He would not let her womanly wiles destroy his carefully laid plan for a stable, sane, mature, open – not in that way! – relationship with her. They would talk things through and not bottle everything in and then shout or 'sex it out'. He would not let snide, petty, remarks about his supposed 'girlfriend' get in the way. If she wanted to know she would have to ask, directly. He was done with the wall. He was building foundations.

TBC...

* * *

><p>New route. Did you like it? Please let me know, reviews feed the muse! ;-)<p>

Kept rewriting it as I proofed it. Hope there aren't too many mistakes.


	12. Chapter 12

AN : I apologize for the long delay. I was perusing spoilers sites and the negativity and whining from some of the fans there are beating the muse with a stick. Like vampires they suck all the writing cheer out of me. Sorry, I'm in a weird mood...

Anyway, this isn't what I had in mind. But in the end I wasn't ready to write the escape scene from the car and stuff, which need excitement and not annoyance. I will try to write what I had in mind once I get out of the funk. And there's a hiatus coming, so I'll have the time : silver lining.

In the meantime you get to see the working process, a little rewritten. This starts with Beckett's thoughts which is how I get in their head before constructing the scenes I add.

* * *

><p>She didn't know how to deal with this new Castle. The one that told her she could ask anything in front of a chess board. She mocked him earlier in the case when he said he was more mature. But he really was. It shouldn't bother her. It did. It meant she was the one being difficult. Like that outburst in the morgue about Sophia and sleeping with whoever he wanted. She was the immature one.<p>

She could admit she was jealous... To herself, at least. Why shouldn't she be when he was flirting with his eyes at her ? The demanding case has pulled their dating thing on pause and she hated it. It had been forever since he had said he loved her and she despised it. She knew she was partially a fault for that. She was the one who broke things off and had put him at arm's length. The comfortable arm's length. Close, yet, not so much as she had to make an effort. She asked a lot of him but wanted more at the same time. She has made such a mess of her life, she thought.

Sometimes, she wondered why Castle had accepted the situation. That's when the doubt resurfaced. That's why those feelings about Sophia just wouldn't get squashed. There were a reminder of the womanizer he used to be. A reminder that it might end as soon as it started. They made her say stupid things like wanting to know "how big the club was". Like that wasn't catty enough, the whole thing was putting her off balance, too. The wrong desk. She had stopped at the goddam wrong desk. In front of the guys, too. Maybe she was too sensitive on the subject. It was a question of trust. She was not afraid to trust him with her life. But with her heart? The jury was still out on this one.

* * *

><p>Beckett hated Sophia Turner. Yes. He knew that. He had hoped she wouldn't ask where the lead came from. For his defense, she was not at the top of her game at the moment. The desk incident made him believe she would maybe just forget to ask.<p>

"Not like that!" He wanted to insist but knew it would make matter worse. Playing it off like she was overreacting was the best option here. Because it was true.

"You are a genius!" Sophia exclaimed, placing a kiss on his cheek. He smiled contentedly. She really knew how to stroke his ego, Beckett thought as she watched.

* * *

><p>"You know how he can be."<p>

Sophia had Beckett's mind reeling. The tension was all they had, with Sophia. Was that true with her too? She felt the doubt creep into her soul, eating at her brain. Like a disease, a viscous cinder which couldn't get caught, infiltrating itself everywhere.

* * *

><p>"What about Spy game? I haven't seen it yet," Alexis offered. There were at the loft for a movie night. After such a case, they all needed to relax.<p>

At the suggestion, both Castle and Beckett scrunched their faces. Suddenly, Castle lighted up.

"I know! I had a urge to watch Flashdance for a week now. Let's watch that."

"A urge, huh?" Beckett's eyebrows shot up.

"Ew, Dad. Don't you think I've been grossed out enough recently?"

"Hey, young lady! I am not the one who decided to intern at the morgue."

"I wasn't talking about the bodies."

Ouch. Beckett's lips tightened. She had hoped Alexis would let that little comment go. Apparently not.

"See?" Castle turned to his partner. "Two words colliding." Beckett chose to ignore him.

"I'm really sorry, Alexis. I forgot you were here. I was pissed and had just nearly drown. I wasn't thinking clearly and I apologize."

"It's okay, detective. You're not the one responsible," she glared at her father.

"What!" Castle cried out, looking to one woman to another in disbelief. "You're ganging up on me, now?" He humphed and left for the kitchen.

Beckett made a sign to Alexis to let him off the hook.

"Let's watch Flashdance," the detective agreed.

"Just no slow mo this time, Dad. And we're not watching the bra scene twice."

* * *

><p>Alexis had gone to bed when the credits had rolled. Beckett and Castle stayed on the couch, talking and laughing. She had scooted up toward him little by little, pressing herself against his side, her lips shadowing the skin of his neck. He continued talking like nothing was going on. Like she wasn't throwing herself at him. But the vein in his face was pulsing. She knew he was controlling himself.<p>

"Stop being a gentleman," she whispered. "Third date. Everyone puts up on a third date."

He chuckled at that, and, finally, turned his head to capture her mouth.

* * *

><p>Castle woke up feeling too hot and encased. He struggled against the remnants of sleep until he recognized what was causing the discomfort. Beckett was draped all over him. A first. Well, not exactly. They had snuggled before. But she always slept on her side of the bed. She liked her independence. He had never, ever, woke up with her still asleep so close to him. He tried not to read too much into it. But he couldn't help thinking that something might have changed. He stayed still for a while, not wanting this new thing to go away. But eventually, Mother Nature was too pressing.<p>

She woke up when he tried to disengage himself.

"No!"

"I have to pee."

"No."

"Would you rather..."

"Okay," she let go, rolling over, still half-asleep. When he came back, she pressed herself back onto him with a sleepy sigh.

"Aren't you clingy this morning," he kissed her forehead.

"Sorry," she started to move away but he grabbed her and maintained her where she was.

"I wasn't complaining, quite the contrary."

Her eyes were still closed. The exhaustion of the whole ordeal, he guessed. But, through the fog, Beckett tried to explain herself.

"Don't like being clingy. But need you. Sorry."

"Oh, don't ever be sorry for needing me," he whispered fondly.

She hummed. "Don't like it."

"Well, I prefer clingy to jealous anytime."

"Mean." She had to wake up for this but her brain just wouldn't. Her body ached too much.

"You were the one being mean," he teased. She thought it was unfair he was so awake for this. She was supposed to be the morning person. "See how big the club is? Come on." He paused, waiting for her reply, it never came. He checked if she had fallen asleep again but no, her eyes had opened, if not by much. He decided to continue.

"You know how I was. If Sophia lied a lot, she had one thing right. I was a reckless, immature, self-centered jackass. Lots of women. Little held any meaning to me. But I thought that you knew I had changed. That you changed me, for the better. It hurt a little when you didn't recognize that," he admitted.

"Sorry, jealousy, irrational." She was too tired to form sentences.

They stayed silent for a moment. But Castle couldn't let it go.

"Kate. When you said Sophia lied a lot. Did she... What did she told you?"

That, woke her up. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, pondering the wisdom of revealing that conversation to him.

"Kate," he pleaded.

She sighed. "She said she wished you two never slept together, because once the longing was gone, all you had was... the things that drove one another crazy." She spoke softly, afraid.

He sat too. He made her look into his eyes.

"It's not true. And even if it was, it ain't us! And it ain't true" He rushed the words out, not caring much about proper grammar. He just needed to tell her. "Do you really want to know what happened?"

"I'm not sure."

"It isn't pretty. But it's better than her lies... I think."

She nodded.

"I was newly divorced, heartbroken because the mother of my child had left for some role in LA. I was hitting on every skirt I met. I mean **every** single – or not - woman I met. A habit. A bad one. And I was famous and rich and young. It was so easy, it was scary. Sophia was sexy and powerful. She was harder to seduce. So yeah, it became more exciting. But in the end. As you said when we first met : 'another notch on my bedpost'."

She couldn't hep but glance at the head of the bed. He took a deep breath.

"Full disclosure? That's probably what you would have been if we had slept together when we met. I was that shallow and stupid. It would have been the biggest mistake of my life and I am so glad you rejected me." She chuckled and he smiled. "And in a damn sexy way too. I had dreams about that 'You have no idea' line."

She leaned in to kiss him, smirking. "Guess you were **my** conquest, in the end."

"So I was right," he mumbled against her lips, not wanting to interrupt the kiss for one second.

"Shut up." She shoved him back onto the bed. He caught her around the waist to bring her on top of him.

"Make me."

* * *

><p>It's underdevelopped but it's better than nothing, right? I promise, I'll write all next chapter before I go read comments about the episode. So you're not cheated of half the thing. ;-)<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: Long delay again. This time it's because Once upon a crime was so perfect I didn't know what to add! (And lots of work, but that's minor).

And again, thanks to everyone for the reviews, favorites and alerts. It means the world to me. You rock.

* * *

><p>Beckett crossed the loft from Castle's room to the kitchen, pulling her charcoal sweater over her head. She was running late.<p>

"I should be at the precinct already," she grumbled. But Castle wasn't listening. He was not even paying attention to the breakfast he was cooking. "Ogling me, really?" She raised an eyebrow as she arranged her hair.

"I love that sweater," he explained in a dazed voice. She smirked but said nothing. She picked up the "Richard Castle" mug in front of her and took a sip. She hoped the coffee would help jump start her brain. She hated having to hurry up in the morning when there wasn't even a dead body to run to. She heard some voices behind her in his office.

"Who's that, with your mother?" She asked. The man seemed too young to be her boyfriend. Then again, with Martha, one could never know.

"Not sure," Castle trailed off, observing the pair.

"You'd better go investigate, then," she moved around the counter to push the unfinished coffee cup in his hand.

"I gotta go."

"You're not eating?"

"I'm late," she cut his whining with a kiss. He took the opportunity to imprison her against him. "Castle, let me go," she laughed.

"No!"

"Castle," she warned.

"No!" She stomped on his foot and he had to let go. "Ouch!"

She glared at him. "You deserve it! Go write."

He pouted, watching her grab her coat and leave. Was it wrong of him to pray for murder so he could see her before tonight? He was supposed to be writing all day. But for that he needed to use his office... He switch off the stove. Mug still in hand, he walked to his mother and the stranger.

* * *

><p>Beckett waited patiently. When Castle went to prepare some more coffee, she unfolded the cryptic note she received earlier. She picked up her phone and dialed.<p>

"Martha? It's Kate."

"Oh darling!" Martha sounded delighted. "Is Richard with you?"

"Hum, no. As instructed I waited until he wasn't around. He's just making coffee though. What's up?"

"Good, I'll be quick. I'm having a stage reading to my new one woman show. It's tomorrow night at the loft. I would love you to be there."

"A one woman show? It's great, course I will be there." Beckett was surprised but she was looking forward to see the actress in action. "Wait. Why Castle couldn't be here?"

"Well?"

"Martha? You did tell him about it?"

"Well, that's the thing. He left this morning before I had the chance to explain. I'll do it tonight. In the meantime, hush hush."

"Martha, I'n not sure it's.."

"Don't worry dear. Alexis is on board already? Richard will be too."

"If you say so... I'll see you tomorrow night, then."

"Ah ah! Wonderful! Have a nice day, darling. Catch the bad guys"

"Thanks. Have a nice day too," Beckett looked at her phone in wonder. Castle's mother was quite the mystery. She sounded like a flack but she actually was quite considerate. She shook herself out of her musing as Castle reentered the conference room with their coffees.

* * *

><p>Beckett let go of his hand to clap. She got up and, giving Martha a standing ovation. Alexis then marcus followed.<p>

"Oh, Martha! That was brilliant!"

Martha bowed, almost shy.

"Really?"

"Yes, I loved it. It was fun and touching," the detective said, pulling the older woman in a hug. The gesture, so unlike Beckett surprised her, but she returned it eagerly. She eyed Castle, who was watching them with a thoughtful look.

"What about you, Richard?" He sensed a bit of nervousness in his mother's tone. He smiled and got up to embrace her too.

"You were wonderful, Mother. But maybe you could change some stuff so you don't talk about me so much?" He kissed her cheek, then winked.

"Don't be silly. It's barely about you... I'm starving, let's eat!"

Castle volunteered to make dinner on the condition those who disturbed his furniture put it all back in place. Beckett helped them for a while, but she left quickly to talk to Castle.

"Wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Were you there! Oh! You nodded off, didn't you?"

"I did not! I thought it was really fun."

"You enjoyed watching me suffer and squirm?"

"I do like the squirming part," she flirted, before turning serious again. "But thats not why I liked the show. It was really good. How can you not see that?"

"Maybe because I know all the truth behind it?" He pouted. "I don't like that you like it."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because?"

"It's not true"

"Rick? Are you afraid I learnt things about you this evening you didn't want me to know?" She stepped closer to him as she talked, putting her arms around his waist. He stayed silent, not looking at her.

She places kisses underneath his jaw, moving upwards to his ear. "Nothing could make me love you less," she whispered. She felt his grin against her skin as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"I love you," she barely heard.

Someone behind them cleared his throat.

"Sorry to interrupt," Marcus said. The playwright started when he saw the daggers coming out of Castle's eyes.

"What!"

Beckett extracted herself from his embrace and swatted his arm. A little remainder to be polite.

"I was wondering if, hum. Actually... If you could write a little blurb... for the poster... of the show... your mother's show." Castle steeled himself. "If you like it, of course," the young man added as an afterthought. He swallowed visibly. Castle stared at him, deadpanned.

Beckett took pity on the man. "I would do it. What about 'The real Nikki Heat approves this tale of a strong woman making her way in the world'?"

Castle gaped at her. Marcus beamed.

"Great!" He exclaimed then skipped off.

"How could you?" Castle was outraged.

Beckett linked her arms around his neck.

"How could I not? She raised my prince charming."

* * *

><p>So, what do you think? Please, drop a word.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

Here is the last installment. The secret relationship doesn't hold anymore. Enjoy! This one takes place just afetr "A dance with death".

* * *

><p>"What about you? I mean, we know you became a cop because your mother was murdered, but there had to be something before that. What did little Kate Beckett want to be when she grew up?"<p>

"At Stanford I was pre-law."

"So your dream was to argue a case in front of the Supreme Court."

"Yep. I was on my way to becoming the first female Chief Justice," she asserted, grinning.

"Wow," he said to cover the fact that he wanted to kiss her so badly. "Not bad."

They continued taking the murder board down in silence. The talk about dreams had him thinking.

* * *

><p>Castle was persistent. Beckett had to go with him to the morgue. Even if they didn't catch a case yet.<p>

"I have paperwork, Castle," she growled as they walked in.

At the sound, Lanie turned around.

"Hey? You have a case? Because I don't have a body."

"No. Castle is...", Beckett turned to him. "Well, you explain, because I have no clue."

Castle beamed at Lanie. He approached her, taking both her hands in his.

"Lanie, how much do you love me?"

"Hum..." The ME bent sideways to quirk an interrogative eyebrow toward Kate. The detective shrugged.

"Spill, Castle."

"Fine!" He let go of her hands and fished an envelop out of his inside pocket. "Ta da!" He handed it to her, bouncing with excitement.

"What is..." Lanie started as she took some tickets out. "Oh my god!" One second later she was hugging the life out of Castle.

Alexis chose that moment to walk in. She took in the scenery. Lanie in her dad's arms, a puzzled Beckett.

"Ah, he gave them to her, at last!"

"Gave her what?" Beckett was confused.

"Ticket for the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. He got us all four tickets to go this week-end."

Lanie had finally let go of Castle.

"I thought taking six for the boys too, but..."

"Nay," The three women agreed, scrunching their faces.

"Got them tickets for the Knicks game instead."

"Thank you so much, Castle. But why?" Lanie was staring at the tickets, in awe.

"After our last case, I thought dreams and stuff. Thought you would like it," he shrugged.

"I love it, thank you," she repeated.

"And I also thought it would be nice to all go. Trips are no fun alone."

* * *

><p>Lanie's squeal in the first class section of the plane didn't go unnoticed. Castle and Beckett kind of forgot their relationship was still a secret they kept from their friends. It was easy at the precinct. But when Castle handed her the flute of Champagne, he had to lean in for a quick kiss. Beckett returned it, on automatic mode. Hence the squeal. Alexis hid her grin behind a magazine, until Lanie tore it from her hands to swat Kate's knee.<p>

"Girl, when did that happen? How did I not know!"

If anyone ever managed to pull off angry and delighted at the same time, it was Lanie at that moment.

The rest of the flight and cab journey to the hotel was spent explaining and making amends.

* * *

><p>Castle and Alexis were checking-in at the counter of the fancy hotel in DC. Beckett and Lanie were hanging back, still discussing the big reveal.<p>

"I can't believe you kept that for all those months!"

"I'm sorry, Lanie. It was just less complicated. We..."

"No, no, I get it, don't worry. Scrutiny isn't the best recipe for a relationship. Still, I just can't believe I didn't see anything," she said, disappointed in herself.

"Don't beat yourself up. We're cunning," Castle cut in, grinning. He pointed to the valet next to him. "Bruce is gonna take care of our bags. The ballet starts at 6. Let's meet around 5 at the center. In the meantime, Kate and I have something to do," he said, taking her hand.

"We do?"

Without answering, he started walking to the door, dragging her behind.

"See you in a few hours," he called over his shoulder for Alexis and Lanie.

Outside, a car was already waiting for them.

"Castle, where are we going?" Beckett started to be annoyed.

"You'll like it. I promise." He squeezed her hand and pushed her in the car.

* * *

><p>They were planted in the street in front of the massive white building.<p>

"It's a supreme court building. Why are we here?"

"Come on," Castle simply said. "We can't be late."

Beckett was taking it all in as they passed security. It was saturday but there were quite a few people at work. Castle gave their names. Apparently they were on the list because they were let in.

The author had to hurry her up through the corridors because she wanted nothing more than to wander aimlessly along them. Until...

Castle made them enter some outer office space. They were greeted by a young woman.

"M. Castle. Right on time" She got up and stepped inside what looked like a big office. When she reappeared, she smiled at them. "Honorable Ruth Bader Ginsburg will see you now."

Beckett's jaw hit the floor.

"I pulled some strings," she heard Castle whisper before he pushed her forward.

* * *

><p>A hour later, they were descending the stairs. Beckett felt like she was floating. At the bottom of the stairs, on impulse, she launched herself at Castle, fusing her mouth to his.<p>

"Thank you, thank you. That was a dream come true," she mumbled against his lips.

His heart did a summersault.

"About that..." He fidgeted, struggling to take something out of his pants pocket while still keeping her in his arms. He managed to snuck his hands between them, holding a little velvet box in front of their eyes.

"Would you make mine come true?" His voice cracked. He nearly let the box fall as he tried to open it with the hand holding it. "Will you marry me?"

It was Kate's heart turn to speed up. She looked into his eyes. So full of love and hope.

"Yes," she whispered, afraid a louder answer would make her tears fall. "Yes!"

They kissed in the street until they heard some throat clearing. Castle pulled back.

"Shut up, we're engaged!" He shouted toward the man.

Beckett laughed. "Lanie's gonna be so mad we told a stranger before her!"

The end.


End file.
